Monday, October 28, 2013

stumbling forward [or this isn't the end, either]

...well. I was hoping to be in a quite different frame of mind to write a followup to my previous post. However, life doesn't often follow the script we write for it. Does it? C'est la guerre. [pronounced "say lah g-air"] Or, to say it another way: "it is what it is". [and it's not what it's not] I'm a bit "under the weather". Which, in this case, is not simply a geographical statement. I did get to do all I'd hoped. I got to: hike [only 3 or 4 miles, but I got to hike], take photos [love fall photos], EAT [I won't need to eat again till Thurs.], We drove some "road not maintained" roads [even one we never get to drive on because it's usually closed -so awesome!], & wrote several poems. My buddy/brother, Rod, picked on me @ 1 point. "still doing your homework?". This was a major breakthrough for me. I never, until this trip, wrote with anyone in the room with me while I was writing. Well, anyone other than my wife anyway. 
While I may be humorous here, I haven't been funny or fun as I was @ the cabin in... a very long time. I think I was in my late teens early 20's, the last time I was quite so "on it" with regard to humor. I think my Father & my Uncle have missed "this me". Everyone else was kind of like, "where did this come from?". Though there was some very heavy sarcasm. "It's a gift. It's a gift. I... don't talk about it much."  -I know, it's not really a spiritual gift, either. ..."well, if he's picking on me, @ least he's not picking on anyone else." -"don't bet on it, he's a multitask-er." I do think pretty fast on my feet. -may not be good thoughts, but I can think 'em up pretty fast. And looking for stuff... then finding it "right in front of you". ...[me] "yeah, we put it out in plain sight. Nobody'll EVER look for it there." [thus my thought that we should just learn to "low-jack" everything. Of course...if you forget the password to the program that links all your low-jacked stuff, well... I guess your "hosed", then, huh?]
Did I mention that I did want to write a serious post? It's the thought that counts, that's why I think a lot. Have I also mentioned that I'm also ambidextrous? I can make mistakes with both hands. Actually, ...when I was quite small, a little known fact... I had no dominant hand. This is to say that I literally switched hands every time I did something repetitive. Like eat. I'd use my left hand, set the fork down, then switch to my right hand for the very next bite. My Dad had hopes that I would become the first major league
ambidextrous pitcher. [This did not happen. -I know, "thank you Captain Obvious"]

Ok, since I can't really get serious tonight. I'm going to sign off. I just wanted to break the silence. The heaviness. I didn't... I don't want darkness to be the end. I want a better ending. I guess... I'm just gonna fight... till I get one.
and be encouraged by other stories till then.
October Baby  [if you watch this, watch the bonus features. It'll really get you.]
oh... & now I have two true stories to be anxiously waiting for...
[& Day One]
anyway, must go...
May His grace drip from your fingers,

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