Saturday, October 19, 2013

some words on the other night

ENCOUNTER was great. I LOVED that we got to have the younger worship bands lead us. Pulse & Fusion bands brought back memories of the youth group I was in. [though we weren't lucky enough to ever have a drummer. Drummers are awesome. Just sayin'] Enjoyed meeting my "partner in crime", photography wise. I had family & friends there silently cheering me on. A friend [/family friend/ sister] Shirley came over to me, "Can I see it?". "um...please define 'it' for me?". "The camera, silly.". "Oh, ok, ...this button, calls NASA." She rolls her eyes, & chuckles. I also enjoyed the prayer times we had. Adults praying for the different age groups in the room. The best was that in the end they asked the adults to stand, allowing the children to pray for them. TOO COOL. I wanted to walk over & pray for one of our pastors, even though it would have elicited a joke. There's no way I'm young enough to be his kid, and we both like jokes. Yet, if I wasn't taking pictures, I would have.

I made it most of the way through no problem. Yet, by the end, I was feeling physically sick & a bit trapped there. The one, kind of leads to the other pretty fluidly for me. So, at the end I just sat. Praying for & trying to design my exit. While still enjoying the music. And the fact that all the bands went up on stage & sang the last 3 songs.
The... dark pages of my story have feelings of being trapped in them. So that feeling really makes me want to be alone in wide open spaces. Preferably invisible to the naked eye. Thankfully my photography partner came, & offered to take the camera back to the gentleman who lent it to me. One less thing to do before I leave. I tried not to appear overly thankful. Even though I very much was. I was sore as I was leaving. Similar to, yet, not nearly as bad as when I almost got electrocuted. [fyi, "boring" is not a word used to describe my life. "eventful" however...] I have to go through my photos to see if I really like any. I came home & kind of fell apart. A "Just everything" kind of meltdown. The photos look like anyone with a pulse could have taken them. So, bummed & feeling bad, I ended up going to bed. Yeah, I'm probably the worst critic there is. Not to mention very double standard. If you had taken some I'd love them, I'm not as critical of others as I am of me. Guess I'm my best frenemy. [there's a t-shirt waiting to happen, huh? could sell it @]
So, I guess I'll sign off for now. Still not feeling the best. I'll try to post a few photos from the event later on.
Oh. One last thing. As we were asked to pray for the younger ones among us last night. [I'll let you look up the sobering stats yourself.] I'd just like to say as we pray for them. Pray for those who will [or have] gone through rough experiences. Abuse, abandonment, loosing a parent [in any way], depression... pray for them that they will find people who will reflect the love God has for us. People they can feel safe with. People they can trust to "let in" on their secret. That with God, telling him what we don't want to say... is a really good way to draw closer to him.
May His Grace drip from your fingers,

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