Monday, December 29, 2008



It can mean


Walled off



Searched for






It can mean


A chance to clear my head

A chance to hear

From Him

Who is

The origin

Of all things

To listen to Him

To speak to Him



A chance to breathe

A chance

To write

My thoughts

A chance to


My own thoughts

A chance

To exhale



To set in

And realize

That I’m smack


In the middle

Of the single

Largest work

Of art

Known to man


“Living Masterpiece”

A break

Before I





Instead of

Becoming broken again


I hope so

Thank you

Oh God

For rest

For solitude

Thank you

That there are those

Who miss me

Help me


To make You

One of them

Saturday, December 27, 2008

[don't know how to title this, either]

I'm not sure what to say. Anything that comes to mind seems like it is a broken record. So, I'll just say [health wise] I'm doing better, all indications are that I'm healing & the surgery was a success.
Christmas wasn't "the best one ever". Having said that, it oddly seems like a necessary step toward ...well, where ever it is I'm going. I don't know where I'm going in life at this point. I do know I can't stay here. It does not work. [for anyone] My friend Brian asked, on Facebook, if anyone had new years resolutions. [this is way too big for a resolution] My blog posts may be sparse for a while. [till I really get things going] I also tend not to talk when I feel like I don't have anything good to say. [or I'm too busy to be taking the time to give the 411] I'm told that I "should be doing a lot better in 2 weeks". Please don't misunderstand, they have been really great over there. Answering questions, telling me things, explaining things, 'n what not... I want it to be over -like yesterday. [yeah, I am my father's son] If I put off learning patience... does that count?? [as getting some?? ...oh well, I tried]
Well, I need to wrap up for now. I have a good bit to do, & the only thing "Sabbath like" I'm going to be doing is not getting online. [this is the one part I've been successful at]
I'm hoping to finish getting ready for New Yeears Eve on Sun.
Shop for a dryer [finally got a new Micro... now I just have to install it]
And try [again] to desparately fit in a showing of Seven Pounds [hopefully no later than next weekend]
Hope you enjoy your New Years

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

continuing journey of healing... ['n other stuff]

...which sounds so much more like it should be a book title.
My healing is still a bit roller coaster-ish, to be honest. Though I am starting to be convinced that I'm on a steadily improving road to recovery. Saw the ENT again on Mon. I'm doing well. He removed some scabs & stuff. I'll see him again on the 23rd. Gave me an antibiotic prescription "in case". [I told him about my weekend, more on that further down] I still have moments of head aches. Though, after my visit, I'm not having any dizzy spells anymore -WOO-HOO. Also, he had every test "known to man" done on [to be brief & polite about it] "the stuff" he removed. Nothing, meaning no cancer or anything. Which is good. My Mom didn't get cancer till she was in her 40's [I think]. And her mother died of cancer in her 50's, 55 -if I'm not mistaken. I might have stated that she died when I was very young. I think I remember saying that I was 4 & a half around that time.
a side note... Many people at LW tell me that my mother is "always happy". Interestingly, my earliest memory of my Mother is her crying over the loss of her mother. [many different times] I used to be told I was a good listener. Well, I began listening to Mom talk about missing her mother. So, I kind of hope I'm a good listener. [I hope I'm still a good listener. I have my doubts lately]
To end this thread, I'll say this. When you love someone, you never really get over loosing them. You just learn to live with the pain of not having them for now. Put another way, you can heal the wound, but you can still see the scar. [I could say much more about my "view of death", but not here, in this post]

Anyway, Getting "on with it"...
I went to first Fri. in Lancaster. After visiting New York City, I don't hate cities. They are facinating, but I'm still much more of a "cabin in the mountains" kind of guy. Fun to visit, wouldn't wanna live there -thanks anyway. Lancaster, I must confess, I don't know very well... at all. I probably should, but don't.
I found Mulberry Art studios easily enough. And I loved it. The only thing that wound have made it better was bumping into a good friend there. I got there late, like 7:30 -7:45. I love old buildings, especially when they turn them into something unique & cool like that. Doc was playing his beautiful black Gretch, Tuck [Andress] plays them & they are just sweet guitars. I do tend to like hollow bodies. So, as I am walking through, the music of "Doc + 1" is meandering around & up the stairs. Soaking through the walls & floors of the place. Reminding me of gigs that my guitar teacher did. As well as the "bootleg" of one of his bands. [it's not really a bootleg, he gave it to me] There was a alluminum? guitar there. With a note to play it if you feel so "inclined". Nah, I don't need a guitar to make a fool of myself. [in my defense, it was strung for a "lefty". if no one was in ear shot...] I saw a beautiful large blue piece. It so reminded me of the cover to "A Blessing of Tears" by Robert Fripp. Those who were there as part of the "staff" seemed nice enough. It was really cool to see Michael Novak's & DeAnn Roe's stuff in a REAL art gallery [where it belongs, if you ask me]. Though as I stared at DeAnn's macros, I was reminded of the first time I picked up an "issue" of Inklings, & saw a poem of mine in it. With her photos I just thought I know this person [which I said to myself again looking at a really awesome peice of Michael's work. Placed on top of an upright piano, in all it's glorious yellows & oranges]. When I look at DeAnn's stuff, or Michael's, or Kevin's... I think, I know these people. And I again tell God how thankful I am to know them. How thankful I am that He "gifted" me with these freinds. How beautiful I think these people are. Loved that I got to see the "perfect dew drop" again. Looking at the close up of a daisy... & remembering "my flower" [that would be Mickey]. Daisies are Mick's favorite flower. Downstairs, in the room that Doc was in [now I feel like a narrerator] There were these really big paintings. I loved the detail in the "tractor one" [sorry I forget the titles] The way light was captured... oh, man. The light "peircing" through the flag. The shadows cast on the tractor & the grassy hill... mmm, I could smell what it would smell like to be setting there. [I grew up close to farms. And with Dad working in Farm supplies, taking me to Ag Progress days & Empire Farm days -farm "shows". I've seen old tractors like that. I think a relative HAD one. ...Uncle Ralph, I think] There was one that looked like I should be on a snowboard. [And made me wish I was going to be soon]
I did walk over to The Prince Street Cafe. It is quite small. Was VERY crowded. Needless to say, I didn't stay long. I'm still a bit "funny" about small places. More so, since I am "still mending". I've... spent time confined to small places, involuntarily. ['nuff said] It was the one time I wished I would have bumped into DeAnn & Dave. [or brought someone along] Certain people make things like that a little easier. [which is a reason I love LW. I have "exit people" there.]

Well, I need to do a few things to continue healing my nose. So I'll have to stop listening to BFFT [Bela Fleck & the Flecktones] live in Hawaii, & Tuck's Hymns, Carols, & Songs about snow. I only have BFFT's show in FLAC & my mp3 player doesn't "do" FLAC.
I want to "vote for my favorite Christmas song" [can it be songs, DeAnn??] But, being the difficult person that I am, mine aren't part of her list...
my top fav's are [in no real order]:
Cry of a Tiny Babe by Bruce Cockburn [from Nothin' But a Burning Light]
this one might be my fav. -at least of "new" songs for Christmas.
Christmas is Jesus by Bryan Duncan
In The First Light by Glad [from Acapella Christmas]