Sunday, December 19, 2010

12 poems of Christmas? ["day" 7]

Last night I kind of "hit a wall". I had a minor meltdown. Seems funny now. I realize what I wanted, would make me miserable if I got it. Some "gifts" we ask for are like that.
Tonight, I wasn't sure I could keep my 12 poems project going. Which, in a way, is also funny. No one's going to "hunt me down" if I can't do it one night. It fits into that old joke. "It isn't a 'final exam'. Now, if they took you out back & shot you if you failed, that would be a FINAL exam." I'm trying to prepare room for my sister-in-law. Well, that's my excuse anyway. I just need things cleaned up around here. Mick & I sat down to kinda run through our plans for Fri. Sat. & Sun. What thing will be like, Maria coming on Tues. [and praying she doesn't get stranded anywhere on her way here]

Talked to a friend today, which influenced my poem tonight...


So much
goes into Christmas
hard to believe
it began in a barn
I think I’m immune
to all the
“holiday mayhem”
in the blink of an eye
I’m right in the middle of
Pastor Steve’s talk this morning
self enthroned
with what I want
why do we do this?
why do I?
walking around
like the world owes us something
I think the world
really does owe me something
and I’m learning to
thank God that he hasn’t
let the world give it to me
I have a feeling it won’t be as grand
as I’d like to think it should be
-and me
of all people
my life has had
in it,
ugly enough
I’m not comfortable sharing
I have so much more
than so many
I’m sure
many people would buy me
all kinds of things
to get
what I have
because no store
what I have
a loving wife
a loving family
loving parents
through my dear sweet Mick
I have sisters,
a brother,
Wal-mart doesn’t sell these

there is a throne
in my heart
and I need to be
kneeling in front of it
not sitting on it
someone far more
selfless needs to sit there
“… let every heart
prepare him room..”
the song says
I think
I need him in every square inch
of my heart
maybe I need to give him a skeleton key?
you know,
“All access”
I’m glad for second chances
I seem
to keep
right on
needing them

b.e. noll

oh, & I liked family circus today...

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