Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Song for Someone by U2

[ok so this post is a bit "out of the blue" for me... maybe you'll like it?]

This song hits me ... possibly the loudest. From the new disc [Songs of Innocence]. 
Though there are many moments from the new disc that strike me.
"...face down in a pillow of shame, there's some girls with a needle tryin' to spell my name, my body's not a canvas, my body's now a toilet wall..." from Raised by Wolves."...I've seen for myself, there's no end to grief, that's how I know, Oh I know, & why I need to know that there is no, yeah there is no end to love..." From California [there is no end to love]
The Troubles [the whole chilling song]
They have a contest for people to sing Song for Someone.
I hate me in front of a camera. So this'll be as close as I get.
I've posted before about being depressed. About wanting to die, for months on end. I read a blog post, from TWLOHA where they interviewed Jared Padalecki. In the interview he mentions having lost several friends to suicide. I want to say something to that. Yet I'm nervous to do so. Nervous it'll be taken the wrong way.
I wanted to apologize for his friends. It can be tough to see your value. It's so much easier to see things from a "the world would be better off without me in it." standpoint. It can be a long fight to get to feeling like you're worth taking up space here.
I say all this because it's where my head is at when I hear Song for Someone. As I've listened to & sat with the lyrics... personally, it's kind of from a place where the singer is desperate. Wanting to give up, & turning to God... maybe at his wits end. Calling Him "someone". Someone who isn't afraid of all my brokenness. My brokenness isn't "new news" to him.
I've had a slowly forming "video" for this song. The beginning came today. A man, sitting on the floor... knife to his wrist. Just before he cuts into himself... He lays it down on the floor & begins singing. Kind of a last ditch effort to be saved from himself. Slowly stands up as he sings. Looking at scars on his arms. Later. He falls to his knees at the bridge of the song. And as the last lines are sung, the only light is a single flame from a lighter... dancing on his reflective sunglasses. 
I always add a word to the end of the song. In the last chorus:
"...if there is a light
you can't always see
& there is a world
we can't always be
if there is a kiss
from your mouth
& there is a light
[please] don't let it go out"
So ...I guess for me he's pleading for God, for someone, to help him keep his light from being extinguished. To help him keep going.
I'm glad I kept going. [boy, does THAT sound weird to type] There are so many people I would have never met. WI would never have heard of TWLOHA. Sorry, I think their honesty is wonderful. Love them for it.
Anyway, I should go. I'm not feeling the best at the moment.
[& I should attempt to fix that]
 May His grace drip from your fingers,

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