I want to write about Valentine’s day. I was hoping to add another component to this, it's just not coming. So I'll post this part for now...
Partly because I want to give a glorified “shout out” to To
Write Love On Her Arms. They are hosting a: “Valentine’s Day Doesn’t Have to
Suck” event tomorrow. 8pm. So this is partly for them, & for this cool
thing they do every year.
Live Chat on AbsolutePunk.net [a link for you if you're interested]
It’s partly because… Some parts of my story…many
parts in fact, were not parts anyone would willingly sign up for. Yet, there can
be good in them. If you use them right. [hopefully this is me, using it right.] I’m not ready to share this.
I was single till I was 25. Which, for those who didn’t know
me, was about 7 – 9 years longer than I would have written into my story.
[funny how that works] I “with a little help from my friends” was often
miserable about this. To re-write McDonald’s slogan: “do-do-do-do-do, I’m hate
‘n it” [see? This is why you read this. Only I would take a horrible event
& make a stand up comedy routine out of it. Your welcome, please deposit
another 25 cents.] In all seriousness, we three single guys [not a Christmas
song], bummed out together. Suffered through Valentine’s days together. Got
upset with friends who “had someone” & were sad because they had to wait
hours to see them. “at least there’s a definite end to your ‘torture”, I’d tell
them. Then say something like how I wished I knew how many hours till I got to see
“my girl”. I got stuck there. One of several time in my life that I “got
stranded in the middle of sadness”. Eventually I got to a point where I got
extremely sick of …my own pity party, table for one. [I really don’t know how
else to say that right now, sorry] I realized that I’m not going to punish
myself for not having a great relationship with a girl. At least, not anymore.
After all, the only thing worse than not having a girlfriend/fiancée/ wife
[girls just change to boy & husband appropriately] is to have THE WRONG
ONE. You are not defined by the relationships you do or do not have. Whether
they be with a spouse/significant other or with a famous person [or a semi
famous person, you get the gist]. You do not have to be in a romantic
relationship to be whole. Or happy for that matter. How’s that old saying go?
“If you aren’t happy where you are, you’ll never be happy where you’re going.”
Something like that. So I did things I was “waiting for a girlfriend” to do. I
went to see Christmas lights at Hershey one year. Yeah, I wanted to go “with
someone”…but I was done not going for only that reason. I didn’t go alone,
either. I took some friends. I’m going to live. Something that I keep pressing
myself on. I’m going to live. I’m not going to sit & think of how better it
would be if my life had ___ in it. Or if I had “someone to do ___ with”. This
was tough at first. Then it got tough in stages. The first time I went to the
movies alone. Can you say “awkward” boys & girls? I knew you could. I’m
married & still do it sometimes. Not sure Mick would like the movie. Don’t think
ahead about asking someone to go with me. You need people in your life. However
don’t get addicted to not being alone. Alone can have it’s benefits. Being a
Lover of God, when I’m alone, I’m with him. I’ve gone to see movies with him.
Driven to places that I wasn’t even sure I’d find. I went to Penn State Berks
campus & ended up driving through half the parking lots before finding the
right one. Then standing, awkwardly around with people half my age to see a
unique version of storytellers. I almost didn’t go about 15 times till I got
there. Loved the drive [I know, your shocked]. And was glad I went in such an
unbelievable way, & I haven’t stopped learning from it yet. So I guess I’m
trying to help you see that being single doesn’t have to be a punishment. This
spawned out of a “message prayer” to a friend. So, if you don’t mind, I’m going
to kind of re-pray similarly here…
Jesu,
Please be with those of my friends who are single.
Especially those who don’t want to be. I remember those days. How hard it was
to wade through the “not in a million years even if you paid me” girls trying
to find “the girl”. Wondering if I was worth having in this fashion. Thank you
that I lived through that. Thank you for letting me remember it. Please be with
these friends in a special unique “only you” way. Let them know they are not
alone. That there are people who are glad they are here. Glad they are still
here. Show them they are loved. By you & me.
Thank you for loving us wherever we are now.
Amen
B
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