Thursday, February 13, 2014

Valentine's day [sort of]

I want to write about Valentine’s day. I was hoping to add another component to this, it's just not coming. So I'll post this part for now...
Partly because I want to give a glorified “shout out” to To Write Love On Her Arms. They are hosting a: “Valentine’s Day Doesn’t Have to Suck” event tomorrow. 8pm. So this is partly for them, & for this cool thing they do every year. 
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It’s partly because… Some parts of my story…many parts in fact, were not parts anyone would willingly sign up for. Yet, there can be good in them. If you use them right. [hopefully this is me, using it right.] I’m not ready to share this.

I was single till I was 25. Which, for those who didn’t know me, was about 7 – 9 years longer than I would have written into my story. [funny how that works] I “with a little help from my friends” was often miserable about this. To re-write McDonald’s slogan: “do-do-do-do-do, I’m hate ‘n it” [see? This is why you read this. Only I would take a horrible event & make a stand up comedy routine out of it. Your welcome, please deposit another 25 cents.] In all seriousness, we three single guys [not a Christmas song], bummed out together. Suffered through Valentine’s days together. Got upset with friends who “had someone” & were sad because they had to wait hours to see them. “at least there’s a definite end to your ‘torture”, I’d tell them. Then say something like how I wished I knew how many hours till I got to see “my girl”. I got stuck there. One of several time in my life that I “got stranded in the middle of sadness”. Eventually I got to a point where I got extremely sick of …my own pity party, table for one. [I really don’t know how else to say that right now, sorry] I realized that I’m not going to punish myself for not having a great relationship with a girl. At least, not anymore. After all, the only thing worse than not having a girlfriend/fiancée/ wife [girls just change to boy & husband appropriately] is to have THE WRONG ONE. You are not defined by the relationships you do or do not have. Whether they be with a spouse/significant other or with a famous person [or a semi famous person, you get the gist]. You do not have to be in a romantic relationship to be whole. Or happy for that matter. How’s that old saying go? “If you aren’t happy where you are, you’ll never be happy where you’re going.” Something like that. So I did things I was “waiting for a girlfriend” to do. I went to see Christmas lights at Hershey one year. Yeah, I wanted to go “with someone”…but I was done not going for only that reason. I didn’t go alone, either. I took some friends. I’m going to live. Something that I keep pressing myself on. I’m going to live. I’m not going to sit & think of how better it would be if my life had ___ in it. Or if I had “someone to do ___ with”. This was tough at first. Then it got tough in stages. The first time I went to the movies alone. Can you say “awkward” boys & girls? I knew you could. I’m married & still do it sometimes. Not sure Mick would like the movie. Don’t think ahead about asking someone to go with me. You need people in your life. However don’t get addicted to not being alone. Alone can have it’s benefits. Being a Lover of God, when I’m alone, I’m with him. I’ve gone to see movies with him. Driven to places that I wasn’t even sure I’d find. I went to Penn State Berks campus & ended up driving through half the parking lots before finding the right one. Then standing, awkwardly around with people half my age to see a unique version of storytellers. I almost didn’t go about 15 times till I got there. Loved the drive [I know, your shocked]. And was glad I went in such an unbelievable way, & I haven’t stopped learning from it yet. So I guess I’m trying to help you see that being single doesn’t have to be a punishment. This spawned out of a “message prayer” to a friend. So, if you don’t mind, I’m going to kind of re-pray similarly here…
Please be with those of my friends who are single. Especially those who don’t want to be. I remember those days. How hard it was to wade through the “not in a million years even if you paid me” girls trying to find “the girl”. Wondering if I was worth having in this fashion. Thank you that I lived through that. Thank you for letting me remember it. Please be with these friends in a special unique “only you” way. Let them know they are not alone. That there are people who are glad they are here. Glad they are still here. Show them they are loved. By you & me.
Thank you for loving us wherever we are now.

May His grace drip from your fingers,

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