Well... today didn't end the way it was "planned to". My boss came to me at around 12-1 pm & said "Your dad isn't coming back to work today, he took your mom to the hospital." I think it was the hardest thing for him to come & tell me. I knew not to be too frieghtened because he didn't tell Jay, to tell me, to come immediately. Unfortunately, the only info I have at this time is: it's "heart related". A test tonight [23:00 hrs.], & one tomorrow, between am & noon, should give us some insight as to: what is wrong/ how to proceed from here. I saw her & she is "Mother". Glad to see me, talkative, alert, able to tell the Dr. about the onset of symptoms, et al. And [thanks to morphine] she was not in pain. Ok, I haven't talked about my parents much. That's because I'm more blessed in this area than most. And I simply don't want to rub it in anyone's face. [I may explain more at a later date]. As I write this I'm hoping I'll have more info in 24hrs. [I may not know anything more than I know now]
So, the obvious prayer request [that many from LW probably already have received] is to pray. Pray for the Dr.'s performing the tests. That we find out what happened. That we find out what to do now. That all who are effected will seek God, find out what He wants to say to us through this. That we go to Him, just to be with Him, so He can "hang with us". No one else can "be there for us" like he can.
Rob Bell has said [you can see a picture of it in "Drops Like Stars"] that his therapist shows him a sign, when things don't make sense. It reads: "THE GOD WHO WASTES NOTHING".
I got a call tonight, after returning home, & settling into my couch for some NCIS:LA. I "snapped" to attention, & grabbed it like it shot at me or something. Open it & answer like a soldier, "hello" I say flatly. waiting for instructions of things Mom or Dad need. I let out a sigh of relief that it's someone inquiring about Mom's status [not a "need ya" call]. I restate the things I know. Powerless to change them. And I say... the same phrase I kinda hate to hear myself. "All you can really do is pray". Why do we say it that way? Why do we look at it that way? All you can really do is speak to the one who spoke the universe into existence. All you can do is talk to the one being I cannot get away from. The one being who can [if anyone can] be with me the whole time, without annoying me to death. The one who knows "why?", "why now?", "Why this??". He may tell me these answers... perhaps not.
I was once asked [unrelated incident]: "Are you mad at God?" "no...I know Him too well to be mad at Him. But not well enough to know what He's doing".
Prayer is more powerful than we think. It is doing something. Something very important. But, we say, I am not doing anything. By speaking to someone. Saying you'll be praying for them. You validate their struggle. You validate that what they are going through is hard, & there may not be easy answers. You tell them "you are not alone". And then you speak to THE most comforting person who has ever existed, & ask Him to comfort the person struggling. This is hardly nothing.
Good night.
May His grace drip from your fingers,
B
P.S. thanks for the prayers, they are already felt.
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