to teach a lesson

you wanted to teach them a lesson...

so you thought you'd share your wisdom?

-but was that wise?

why is it

that we so easily want to teach

yet we drag our feet
when it comes to being taught?

never mind retention

we want to change the world

so we point our fingers

at everyone else

when changing the world
starts so much closer to home

than we are really comfortable with...

b.e. noll

@ least two

Today's talk was inspiring, at least to me. Between that & Chris Smith's spoken intro to & our singing of Never Once by Matt Redman I wrote this:

@ least two
so often
I have felt
completely alone
by
myself
like there was
no one
for me
with me
beside me
on my side
not one
who understood
got it
wanted to
I believed
a lie
in a sea of faces
a liar
THE liar
whispered
till I believed
& mourned

mourned the loss
of people
right in front of me
years later
standing
in a
"no loneliness allowed" room
sunday morning
singing a song
exposing that lie
never once
was I alone
I have many
a sea of loving faces
that clothe hearts
of love
mercy
grace
care
help
I have those
who will stand
walk
run
cry
be silent
with me
no matter
where my path leads
it's never
"just me"
it's never
"just one"
alone
it's
always
@ least two
[me...& YOU]


...YOU
closer than skin,
bigger
than air,
stronger
than steel,
more flexible
than water,
more alive
than life,
longer
than time,
deeper
than the universe,
further "up"
than space,
firmer
than Earth,
YOU
the one
whom
the universe
rests on
like a marble
rests
in my hand

b.e. noll

p.s. Thanks to Tracy & Jim, who were an unknowing [personal] illustration of the sermon topic today, community.

the live version of a photo

Yesterday I got to spend a few fleeting moments with some friends I haven't seen for quite a while. It was nice to see them...

live version of an old photo
I haven't heard
these voices
singing to each other
in conversation
for such a long time
fun to see the reconnection
catching up on what's been happening
eve's dropping on each other's stories
flurries of questions
nods of understanding
a community
reconnecting
the well worn bicycle metaphor
fitting in quite nicely
hand shakes
hugs
once again
looking at smiles live
where
for so long
it was just frozen smiles of yesterday
on dog eared photos of
another time
long ago

Thank you
Yahweh
for making people
priceless

b.e. noll
[I have no clue who took this photo, as I am in it. Thanks though!
Laramy Peak, Wyoming. !980... 1988 or 1989, pretty sure]

Kirk Cameron has a new film project coming out that speaks to something that I have steadily been more interested in. People often wonder where God is when bad things happen. The greatest question to come from this line of thought is:
"If God is all powerful, able to do anything... if God can stop evil... then why doesn't He?" Why DOES He allow evil to "win the day"? Mr. Cameron will take us on a journey to try to answer this. I am hoping that Vimeo won't take the trailer down. Here it is...[for now @ least].

I do not know why Facebook [& Youtube] took it down, nor am I trying to argue with them in any way.
Thank you.
b.e. noll

on loss...

My Uncle died last week. He was one of 7 uncles that I have on my father's side of the family. We have been very fortunate to have him as long as we have. He had a bad heart... on July 2nd, it gave out.

For me [sigh], this begins a recap, or a recount, of all those who have been lost. Grandmas, Grandpas, nephews, a cousin [at 17, sadly], even a musician I really enjoyed. Since it's no secret that I enjoy music, it's songs that "come & visit" during this time. They make me cry. Tears... are not the enemy we make them out to be. Nor are they an indicator of how tough you are [or aren't]. I make time to go off by myself & walk in nature. I need this whether I'm: mad, sad, or glad... & I'm usually one of those. I do it because it is the physical expression of a song that closed LW's Sunday service.
[Paul Baloche - Just to be with you]
To clarify, I don't always "feel" Him when I go there [into the woods]. Most times I do, not always. And sometimes that's frustrating, other times it's frightening. When I do feel Him with me, it's different every time. Like spending time with a friend, my wife, or other human relationship. Sometimes I need to vent. Sometimes I need to "just shut up" [-sometimes I even realize I need to be quiet]. If I'm there long enough, I can usually untie all the knotted thoughts swirling round inside. I become calm. There will be times when it won't work. I'm glad it usually does, though.

The strange thing for me, at viewings & funerals, is how the person looks to me. They look good, don't get me wrong. They just... look like a 3D photo of someone I knew. Like driving by a house you used to live in. You remember living there. Yet you are extremely aware of the fact that you don't anymore. Someone I love, lived in that body... it just doesn't seem like they live in there anymore. I say good-bye, as though they are in the room. Yet, I always add "see you soon". Sometimes even saying: "...sooner to you than to me, I'm afraid." This world...this land... is the land of good-byes, but one day... I will live in a land, where good-bye is obsolete. I dream... that there are 3 tombstones there. "Here lies... death, sin, time. ...no one misses you." And a celebration is going on, a few feet away...
so... here are some songs.
[begun when my cousin died]
Merciful Eyes - The Choir
Blue Skies - The Choir
Restore my soul - The Choir
[actually most of the Circle Slide disc]
[when the twins died]
Into the West - Annie Lennox
With the Tired Eyes of Faith - The Swirling Eddies
Somewhere down the Road - Amy Grant
[when Grandma & "Pappy" died]
U2 - Where the streets have no name
U2 - One Tree Hill
 "...I'll see you again, when the stars fall from the sky, & the moon, has turned red, over one tree hill..."

I was writing to my cousin & it reminded me of poetry. So I thought I'd try a poem to "go along with this".

Loss
what is there to say?
No words seem to really work
do they?
I wish…
a thousand different things
in a thousand different directions
but none of them matter
While my presence would be nice
it too, isn’t really the point
not always
…
It’s that I exist
isn’t it?
at least
that’s how I feel
how I’ve felt
@ LW
they aren’t perfect
and… as long as Jesus hasn’t returned
they won’t be
but
they
care.
they pray.
it makes a difference.
even when I cannot hear them praying
it still makes a difference
Sometimes
even though it’s hard
[harder to watch a sadness
in another’s life
than to experience it yourself]
especially with a death,
it isn’t what you do
it’s that you are
it’s
that you
exist
so
just keep
existing
strange as it may seem
it
helps
…doesn’t it?


b.e. noll

wanted to do this sooner

I wanted to do this for father's day. I wanted to share photos my Dad took recently. Last year he took me along to Grandfather's Mtn. He goes every year. The top photo shows why it's called Grandfather's Mtn. A very good profile shot, don't you think?
Take care, & enjoy the outdoors...
[photos by Barry L. Noll]

soil [a poem]

rocky soil
packed down beat down trampled path soil
soil
woven with weeds
good healthy soft
soil
I am soiled
not soft enough
too many rocks
in no real pattern
for no real reason
and my imagination can't make one up
I don't think I can change this soil
of mine
yet I can tell anyone
how to fix
any soil
but mine

[yeah Mike, your right,

"I could laugh

but it's not funny..."]

yet
the only way

I can really change you

is to change

simple to say

painful to act upon

by b.e. noll