So I did take my camera. Enjoyed taking Mick away with me. Got away as they say. It's nice to slow down & just sit still for a while. Even though that can be extremely difficult for me at times. [turns out I am my father's son]
Before I left I had some interesting moments. People talking to me about age. Mostly mine.
While I don't really care much how long my physical form has been on the planet... it is one more way I have felt very... "not normal" for a human. Or perhaps it would be better said it is another reminder that I'm not like most people. I don't feel this way as... "Mon - Sun" as I used to. There are still times, moments, conversations that bring it back to mind, though. So I'll speak of this here. From multiple angles.
First. I was, by the knowledge of that time, "scheduled to arrive" on April the 25th, 1971. For those of you who are not like my Dad, that would mean I am 43 as of right now. Again, not that it is terribly important. Due to "complications" I was not born until 5:30am the morning of the 26th.
NO... I do not "remember it well". I remember Mom telling the story countless times. [I'm not upset about that. It's just the facts] The details of that I will leave to my Mother, who never tires of telling it. I have been told for quite a long time that I appear much younger than I am. How much depends greatly on whom you ask. One friend states that I am: "forever green" "You look so young. You should tell people you are 25" Another recently said: "I had no idea. I thought you were maybe 30." [he was fun -& one to talk. I never would have guessed he was older than me. I thought HE was 30! He & his wife look MAYBE 30, if that. It's nice to tell people what I've heard most of my life]
I even had a police officer apologize to me once. He thought I had a "Cinderella license". "No disrespect, officer. How old do you THINK I am?" "16" I was around 28. I told him I would love this when I was 40. Love is a strong word.... maybe when I'm 80? Anywho.
While I'm not fond of the grey hairs that are slowly taking over. Or the fact that I no longer have an extremely thick head of hair. What I really don't like about the prospect of aging is 2 fold.
1. Having people older than me. To go to & say: "So. Is this a thing I should worry about? Or is this a 'huge thing now & totally forgotten in a week' thing?" I like being able to go to people older than me to ask things of. To ponder things with. I've spent a great deal of my life hanging out with people older than me. I'm an only child. I've been doing it for a long time, now.
2. as I talk to aging folks...there is the realization that we spend 21 years becoming independent. We really want to spend zero time going the other way. TWLOHA has ...a blog post, a shirt, even a hastag "People Need Other People". Yet... many of us are really bad at letting other people help us. I am chief among them. I really suck at letting others help me. Be there for me. Don't get me wrong. I love the slogan. I think it's true. Just... "when the time comes"..... I fail at this. Which will make me more of a pain as I get older.
Though, while I still have trust issues, I'm thankful that I have people who try to be there for me. Even though I do not make it very easy for them. [pray for them. they need it.]
May His grace drip from your fingers,
B
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