today

it's a busy week for me. However this was posted on facebook by a friend & I wanted to link to it today... Makoto Fujimura: shalom Peace, b.e. noll

Still renovating my life. Repairing my existence. Understanding the me that is. Which is why it's been so long since I've posted a poem. For those of you who write, especially poem writers, you owe it to yourself to get to know Over the Rhine. Below is a video that gives 1 reason to like this couple. Another is to read the letters section of their website.
I'll continue to mutter on with this blog for a while. As I discover the hidden places in this soul. ...& whether or not to leave them that way....
May His grace drip from your fingers,
B

another sunday song[s]

I started looking up links to music I like for a friend. so here's another songs on Sunday posting... [warning the Keaggy link is quiet...Randolph is absolutely NOT quiet]
Phil Keaggy & jazz bassist John Patitucci playing "I Shall See God"
Robert Randolph & the Family Band Run for your life, & Jesus is Just Alright

in a different direction...
a friend is going through a tough time right now. Often in my life I've been better at expressing things through songs of others. So here are a few dealing with struggle.

Amy Grant - Somewhere down the Road [became a favorite track after My Sister-in-law lost twins.]
Michael Roe - I need God

Amy Grant - Better Than a Hallelujah
The Swirling Eddies - With the Tired Eyes of Faith

U2 - When I look at the World
[Jesu "...it's no use I can't see what you see, when I look at the world..."]
this list goes on forever by the way. However I'll stop here for now.

The photo @ top is of Linville falls. Sometimes... you feel like that rock, at the bottom. The water is all around you...& your still thirsty. Your immovable... & no one seems to be able to touch you.....& you wish they could...
I'll close with the final song from U2's 360 degrees, live @ the Rose Bowl....
[Moment of Surrender]

May His grace drip from your fingers,
B

Photo by b.e. noll, from my trip to the Blue Ridge.

a song on Sunday

my nieces are here. Yet as a friend goes through a tough spot in life... I think of a song that reminds me of the growth group I'm in. [as well as the ones I've been in previously]
Mumford & Sons - Timshel

"Timshel"

Cold is the water
It freezes your already cold mind
Already cold, cold mind
And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

And you are the mother
The mother of your baby child
The one to whom you gave life
And you have your choices
And these are what make man great
His ladder to the stars

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

And I will tell the night
Whisper, "Lose your sight"
But I can't move the mountains for you 

for those who like Mumford & Sons & don't yet know,

the new disc will drop in Sept.

[from the new disc] I will wait

take care all,

Happy birthday dear sister-in-law

it may b your b-day, but WE got the gift  -you.

b.e. noll

 [photo from the top of Mt. Mitchell, by b.e. noll]

thoughts on Cinema 16, 7.20.12

By now we all know what took place in Colorado. I just do not get it. If someone hurt you so you want to hurt them... well, I at least understand that. I don't like or promote it in any way. Yet I understand the desire. However, going & shooting strangers who happen to be in a particular place... Why hurt people... just to hurt people? Why would you want people to not feel safe?
Truthfully, I don't really want to understand. Maybe if I understood, I'd condone it. I have yet to see this third, & final Batman film. I want to. There's a clip in the trailer that I like. It seems to go with others from the previous 2 films.
[from Batman Begins] Ras Algul: "Criminals will not share your compassion, Bruce."
Bruce Wayne: "That's why it's so important"
[from The Dark Knight]Commissioner Gordon: "He's not the hero we want...he's the hero we need." [as a Christ follower, this sounds oddly familiar]
[from the trailer to The Dark Knight Rises] Catwoman: "you don't owe these people anymore....You've given them everything."
Batman: "not everything....not yet"

I guess what you get out of movies might greatly depend on who you are... & the mindset you have going in. Maybe it depends on what you are looking for.
This doesn't just make me want to go to the movies. It makes me want a bit of the comic book hero to leap from movies to life. Not in a masked additive to our police, no.
Criminals take from society. However, if you became an anti-criminal...that would mean giving back to it. Build trust, instead of destroying it. Protecting, instead of threatening. While I never thought of someone doing this. It is the possibility of scaring/ doing harm that has kept me from dressing up for a movie. When I go. I want to appear as me. A person wishing to watch a good story. Maybe to even be encouraged to be heroic, if the time came. It is sad, yet good, to hear of young men who became human shields to their girlfriends & children. I'm glad you did, & sad you had to.

from my journal:
"walking into a crowd & just killing people...
every molecule in my existence, every square millimeter of my soul just doesn't get.
How did we get here?
can we leave now?
Yahweh, I don't know how you can stand to see this. Your world violated like this. I don't hate this by, a clown who isn't funny. Please watch over, be with those who cannot change the channel. Reporters, fireman, police, FBI, people who work there, people who considered that theater "their theater" comfort & protect them from the room with possible answers, & definite traps. Keep them safe.
Jesus
I long for you to return
we need a true leader
we need a hero
the hero
only you
can be"

Bullets
don't think
don't feel
but they can take from us
people
who do
they do not solve problems
they're really good at creating them, though
they rape us
of good people
sometimes
take guilty people from us
usually though
they take the innocent away
from us
bullets
make people
extinct
I'd like to see the day
when people
make bullets
extinct

b.e. noll

I don't know if I've talked about this before, I just really liked a scene near the end of a cold case episode. It was done after Columbine. So now may not be the time to watch the whole thing, yet I'll end with the dialogue I liked so much...
[from the episode Rampage. warning, in this episode 2 boys go into a mall & shoot people. you can watch the clip i'm talking about here, it's @ 5:31 to 8:14 into this video clip from the show]

[feeling that the shooting was her fault & holding a pistol in her lap, in the mall] Tina: "I wanted to hurt them like they hurt me. I have to pay for what I did."
Lily: "for every gun that's fired... someone can't be in a closed room, or walk, or see their child again. ...it's not just you who pays Tina, it never is"

an annoying silence

The war of silence

Silence
the deafening  
of no sound
where there should have been one
it’s slow crumbling of what was
of what could be
so easy it is
to simply not make a sound
without thought
yet having much after thought
the silence
screaming at me
from it’s momentary epicenter
and the question
why?
why did you not speak?
ok… so you do not agree with some people
Is this news?
some hurt you
yes, still
why
hurt
them?
is this becoming
who you were designed to be?
I didn’t think so
so stop your self righteous silence
and live
be alive
the way life was meant to be
don’t be a criminal
a villain
in your own story
after all
has anyone ever started a war
by saying hello?
can you at least acknowledge
everyone you meet?

Can you live in peace
with people who may not be at peace with you
or with your choices?
stances?
try

silence

sometimes silence is a good thing. I often need silence. This is why I often go to a park & walk alone. Silence helps me listen to the most powerful & the quietest voice.

however... about 2 months ago, I was silent. I can't get over it. It just bugs me to death.

"Why?" you ask. Because I was looking someone in the face & I just didn't say anything. I didn't acknowledge them in any way [except to keep from running them over]. I keep hearing things like what a gal I was friends with in high school would have said: "Well, that was mature." So this poem is really written to me. In my group we're studying James. 

James 2:12 & 13

¹² Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, ¹³ because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

This is great to read... however, it would probably be better to live. ...& I didn't. 
I had a conversation about Bible translations a few weeks ago. With a friend, my Mother & Father. Which I somehow ended up saying something like: "it's not that the different translations make it easier to read. The Bible is fairly easy to read, it's just hard to live."
Which comes from this written in my Mother's old Bible: 
"knowing what to do must be translated into doing what you know."


sincerely, 
your not even close to perfect friend,
B
[photo from my back porch @ sunset a few days ago]

Father's Day [Grandfather's Mt. pic.s]

Well it's been a long while. I only went down to the Blue ridge for about 5 days. I made it over 2 peaks [out of three]. I had prepared for everything I could think of before hand. I had only forgotten 1 thing. It wasn't till "attic window" that I realized what I forgot about. Asthma. I have a rather mild case of it. So I did not ascend Macrea Peak. The third & final peak of Grandfather's Mt. I got to the base of the last ladder. On all fours, dizzy, short of breath. The guys with me were hoping I wasn't going to try to climb up it, to the cable, which lead to grabbing onto rocks & would have ended with me pulling myself the rest of the way up to a 360 degree view. Since I was dizzy & short of breathe I decided to stop going up. This meant going down a long cable & a medium size ladder. Went down around this peak on Underwood trail. Which lead to the upper parking lot, & my inhaler. So 2 puffs, the rest of a water, the rest of a Gatorade, a Snickers bar [w/ almonds, yum]. Then after waiting for the others & resting, we walked across the singing bridge. Where I got someone to take a picture of my Dad & I together.

"See that? We're gonna climb that in about 30 minutes." [Actually, it was easier than it looks]

"see that outcropping? That's where we ate lunch."

Doesn't that shadow look like a cow?

"Attic Window" [where asthma kicked in]

So some might ask me: "why did you climb that thing? Because it was there?"
"...no, because of who put it there" [& because I enjoy hiking with my Dad]
I got to hike with my Dad yesterday, have lunch, go to Brown's Orchard for baked goods with him, & we got together today for supper. A fun weekend. We had a fun 5 days in the Blue Ridge. This is just one of the stops & about 5 pic.'s out of 1,062!

Well, some of you have been begging me to put my "mug on my blog".
Folks, this is [l - r] my Dad & me. [Thank you Bill Jacoby for taking this picture]
This is across the Swinging Bridge.
This is a favorite picture.
Happy Father's Day.
b.e. noll