Kirk Cameron has a new film project coming out that speaks to something that I have steadily been more interested in. People often wonder where God is when bad things happen. The greatest question to come from this line of thought is:
"If God is all powerful, able to do anything... if God can stop evil... then why doesn't He?" Why DOES He allow evil to "win the day"? Mr. Cameron will take us on a journey to try to answer this. I am hoping that Vimeo won't take the trailer down. Here it is...[for now @ least].

I do not know why Facebook [& Youtube] took it down, nor am I trying to argue with them in any way.
Thank you.
b.e. noll

on loss...

My Uncle died last week. He was one of 7 uncles that I have on my father's side of the family. We have been very fortunate to have him as long as we have. He had a bad heart... on July 2nd, it gave out.

For me [sigh], this begins a recap, or a recount, of all those who have been lost. Grandmas, Grandpas, nephews, a cousin [at 17, sadly], even a musician I really enjoyed. Since it's no secret that I enjoy music, it's songs that "come & visit" during this time. They make me cry. Tears... are not the enemy we make them out to be. Nor are they an indicator of how tough you are [or aren't]. I make time to go off by myself & walk in nature. I need this whether I'm: mad, sad, or glad... & I'm usually one of those. I do it because it is the physical expression of a song that closed LW's Sunday service.
[Paul Baloche - Just to be with you]
To clarify, I don't always "feel" Him when I go there [into the woods]. Most times I do, not always. And sometimes that's frustrating, other times it's frightening. When I do feel Him with me, it's different every time. Like spending time with a friend, my wife, or other human relationship. Sometimes I need to vent. Sometimes I need to "just shut up" [-sometimes I even realize I need to be quiet]. If I'm there long enough, I can usually untie all the knotted thoughts swirling round inside. I become calm. There will be times when it won't work. I'm glad it usually does, though.

The strange thing for me, at viewings & funerals, is how the person looks to me. They look good, don't get me wrong. They just... look like a 3D photo of someone I knew. Like driving by a house you used to live in. You remember living there. Yet you are extremely aware of the fact that you don't anymore. Someone I love, lived in that body... it just doesn't seem like they live in there anymore. I say good-bye, as though they are in the room. Yet, I always add "see you soon". Sometimes even saying: "...sooner to you than to me, I'm afraid." This world...this land... is the land of good-byes, but one day... I will live in a land, where good-bye is obsolete. I dream... that there are 3 tombstones there. "Here lies... death, sin, time. ...no one misses you." And a celebration is going on, a few feet away...
so... here are some songs.
[begun when my cousin died]
Merciful Eyes - The Choir
Blue Skies - The Choir
Restore my soul - The Choir
[actually most of the Circle Slide disc]
[when the twins died]
Into the West - Annie Lennox
With the Tired Eyes of Faith - The Swirling Eddies
Somewhere down the Road - Amy Grant
[when Grandma & "Pappy" died]
U2 - Where the streets have no name
U2 - One Tree Hill
 "...I'll see you again, when the stars fall from the sky, & the moon, has turned red, over one tree hill..."

I was writing to my cousin & it reminded me of poetry. So I thought I'd try a poem to "go along with this".

Loss
what is there to say?
No words seem to really work
do they?
I wish…
a thousand different things
in a thousand different directions
but none of them matter
While my presence would be nice
it too, isn’t really the point
not always
…
It’s that I exist
isn’t it?
at least
that’s how I feel
how I’ve felt
@ LW
they aren’t perfect
and… as long as Jesus hasn’t returned
they won’t be
but
they
care.
they pray.
it makes a difference.
even when I cannot hear them praying
it still makes a difference
Sometimes
even though it’s hard
[harder to watch a sadness
in another’s life
than to experience it yourself]
especially with a death,
it isn’t what you do
it’s that you are
it’s
that you
exist
so
just keep
existing
strange as it may seem
it
helps
…doesn’t it?


b.e. noll

wanted to do this sooner

I wanted to do this for father's day. I wanted to share photos my Dad took recently. Last year he took me along to Grandfather's Mtn. He goes every year. The top photo shows why it's called Grandfather's Mtn. A very good profile shot, don't you think?
Take care, & enjoy the outdoors...
[photos by Barry L. Noll]

soil [a poem]

rocky soil
packed down beat down trampled path soil
soil
woven with weeds
good healthy soft
soil
I am soiled
not soft enough
too many rocks
in no real pattern
for no real reason
and my imagination can't make one up
I don't think I can change this soil
of mine
yet I can tell anyone
how to fix
any soil
but mine

[yeah Mike, your right,

"I could laugh

but it's not funny..."]

yet
the only way

I can really change you

is to change

simple to say

painful to act upon

by b.e. noll

Rickett's glen 2013

So these are a select few from Rickett's Glen this year. I don't think I'll say much more here. Just enjoy...
B

Mother's Day

Well, if things had gone as planned I'd be eating lunch with my Mother-in-law right now. However, it is painful to sit here @ the moment, or stand. Watched our service @ home today, once again reminded of how it is a world away from being in LW on Sunday morning. Thought I'd post a poem or 2 today, so here goes...

Mother

I'm told so very often

that you are always smiling

you & I remember

when that wasn't true.

my earliest memory

is of you crying

over the loss of your mother

you knew

you told me

where Grandma was

where she is still

when she left

you told me
she was now holding

her son

you gave me
you introduced me

to two fathers

whom I love

one an echo

of the other

your love

for all whom
the Heavenly Father has made

is a fragrance
no flower can dream

compare

You have given me many things

most treasure-able

is your love

for Jesus,

Dad,

Mick,

her family,

my friends

my nieces

thanks for being so very joyful

thanks also

for the blessing of tears

for crying

over me

in car accidents

with me

when two little boys

were born
without a sound

telling me
yet again

"Well, my Mama will love on them

till you get there"

thanks for the gifts
that never go out of style

and the world

sadly

has too little of

thanks Mom for being you

& loving me,

love

your son

Jesu,

I don't know why...

so many things

could end that sentence

I don't know 

why our stories

why my story

has to have such sad

confusing

chapters in them

yet when they do

I cling to one thing alone

I may not know

where this leads
but I do know
who holds
the pen
it's nice to know
that the pen
writing my story
is a nail scarred one

b.e. noll
[well, I must change positions now...]

not sure what to say

Saw this tonight @ group. It really resonated.
I've said: "I know God too well to be mad at Him, but not well enough to know what he's doing." This is that in a song...
JJ Heller - Who You Are
 I enjoy seeing the hammers inside the piano on this video. Brings back memories, of helping my Grandfather re-string a couple of pianos. Being in his workshop, the smell of him sanding some hammers down to be used to restore a piano.
When she sings "you have a father's heart, & a love that's wild..." I think of Lucy Pevensie in the Narnia books, asking Mr. Beaver if Aslan the lion is safe. "Of course he's not safe, but he's good."


I've had some puzzling moments lately. However, it's late, so I think I'll save that for later on...