bought "as is"

Sometimes
there are
of course
times for everything
under the sun
sometimes
I'm able to joke
to play  "the life of the party"
sometimes
there's nothing I want less
than to be in one
Sometimes
I want to "be known"
sometimes
I want to just be
anonymous
you see me
you know
about me
do you know
me?
really?
sometimes
I want to forget
sometimes
I can't
sometimes
I watch things
and I remember
what "that"
was like
Sometimes
I remember
what "that" was like
all
to
well
sometimes
someone
will say
or write something
and I sit there
stunned
I wonder
"how'd you know?"
How could you say
what I've felt?
sometimes
I want to hug them
and sometimes
I want to run
from them
Sometimes
I like
that I'm not like
anyone else
sometimes
it's not
as fun
as the brochure
said it would be
sometimes
I'm ok
sometimes
I'm not
sometimes
I want to tell you
sometimes
I don't
sometimes
I'm easy to deal with
sometimes
I'm not
hopefully
you can still like me
all the time
b.e. noll


I've got a lot of stuff inside. [getting kind of cramped in here] Not to mention I'm getting quite a string of days that are going sideways. You know the days. "due to lack of interest, today has been cancelled." Or "may I please be excused? my brain is full." [SO love far side] My response is not always very "stellar", either. So I'm kind of hoping for some boring days soon. You know where everything goes by some semblance of a plan. Yeah, that'd be a switch. Sometimes I can be funny about it. Sometimes...not so much, really. Thanks for asking. I'm so sure you never have this [there really should be a "sarcasm font", just sayin']. At least I get to go for my drive Wed. [at least...that's "the plan" as of now, who knows?] And I've been able to go for a walk over the last 2 weekends. Though the parks here have taken a pounding. As you quite possibly have heard on the news. I'm careful...yet my walks are part of my time to connect with the one who is greater than me. There's just something about it. Some strange amalgamation of growth/ healing/ calming/ meditativeness about being out there. To me it's kind of a "church of 2". So I've posted a boat load of photos on facebook. Maybe I'll post a few here later on.
I've also been having quite a bit of "watching something that takes me to memories I haven't thought about for a long time". So that's bringing me back to the ongoing writing of my story. I'm also getting this weird "nebulous" whispering conversation in the back of my mind. that might be helping me understand why a few of my friends think they would like to read it when I finish writing. hmmmm.
Well, I've been given a heads up that tomorrow will be crazy. So I guess I'll try to sleep... or read & write poems some more.

May His grace drip from your fingers,
B