Blessing or curse I'm in one of "those places" where writings/thoughts/musings flood into my head faster than they come out of my fingers.
Backwards from the title up there...here we go.
My drives were..."interesting". Yesterday I turned the box truck around so many times I could've swore it was a horse with a pole running through the middle of it. [you know, a merry-go-round] Yet all in all a good day. I got back later than my usual leaving work time [6:15 as opposed to 4:30]. No biggie. I DID get some sleep before waking up at 2:30 this morning. Left the warehouse at 4 am. Got back around 1 pm. Stayed till about 3:15, & then left to get ready for group tonight... Oh, & I was having trouble starting the truck much of the time. It finally left me set. It gave up & refused to start....thankfully when I got back & had already unloaded it. So I wasn't stranded anywhere.
I'm trying to be honest. Which means that you will see sadness, humor, happiness, joy, ...& perhaps some other stuff on here. For some of you, you might read me taking about God in ways that are strange to you. To others of you , you might feel that I'm a bit weird about life on here. Having said this... I'm trying to be good to me. I'm not trying to be my own biggest fan or anything. I'm just trying to not be the villain in my own story. [I think that happens a good bit anyway, I'm not trying to be. I never said I wasn't succeeding at it, though.] This week I've not done that so very well. Skipped supper Mon. Which, in & of itself, is a "yawner" of a fact. I just can't let it happen to many days/meals in a row. Starving myself does do something for me. What it does is not worth getting done. And tonight I had to resort to a band-aide to stop picking at a VERY old "spot" on my hand. It seems to have dried up a bit. Got rough, & with everything else going on this week...I just find myself tearing into it with a vengeance. So, it's either: cover it, or watch it bleed. I've done the bleeding thing. I think I'll pass. [or at least try to]
Tonight our Wed night group watched Ragamuffin. Which is about the life of Rich Mullins. I thought of my relationship with my Dad. I'm glad we are so close. I did good, till the end. Then I got up & spoke to the group about the film. Which is SO NOT ME. There is nothing to really back up what I'm going to share. It's just something that was soothing to me. When Rich died, for whatever reason, I came to this thought: "Jesus said he's going to prepare a place for me... Well, the one nice thing about loosing someone is... at least Jesus knows how to decorate the place He's making for me." Which is to say that people are what really matters. When I loose someone now, I think of it as they are going ahead of me so that when I get to heaven...it'll feel like home. Because people I love will already be there.
Need to go for now. one more rather busy day left...with [hopefully] a "photo finish" to it.
May His grace drip from your fingers,
B
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