just before a pause

I've posted a lot this week. However, I'll be trying not to post for the next several days. [F - Sun.] Sat. is our anniversary. I've been married 17 years. Truthfully, there were times I wasn't sure we'd survive the day we were in. This wouldn't be quite so sad, if it weren't for my parents. 43 yrs, & they act like they got married last Sat. Turns out what Mom has written in an old Bible is true: "knowing what to do must be translated into doing what you know." Liking me as a blogger & living with me are completely different animals. -I'm just sayin'. Though I'm sure I'm not even close to the only one.
Anyway, since this will be it for a few days. I wasn't sure what to put here.
so lets try a bit of everything.
[everything, almost]
For Mick. I know "us" hasn't been easy...
Kevin Max - On & On "...take me to your drawbridge, come take me to your door, take me when I'm hungry baby, take me when I'm poor, take me when I'm sick of love, take me when you've had enough, take me when I'm lost alone & don't know the reasons why..."
Over the Rhine - Born "...put your elbows on the table, I will listen long as I am able, there's nowhere I'd rather be....whatever you got, I don't mind...we've seen the landfill rainbow, we've seen the junkyard love, baby it's no place, for you 'n me..."
I love the story of how the album this is from came into being. Sad it had to go that way, love the results. behind the album drunkard's prayer,  Recorded in their living room, the whole disc is very "close to the bone". Written after the husband & wife "nucleus" of the band almost divorced. The story in the liner notes is as valuable as the songs. Thanks Linford & Karen.
Another jem from the disc. Might not seem that great for a post near your anniversary. Too bad... Over the Rhine - Little Did I Know. The ones you love, the ones who love you... are the easiest to hurt. Just remember, love isn't pretty...it's pretty necessary. To borrow from the pilot episode of Person of Interest: [Finch to Reese] "Told you I'd tell you the truth....didn't say you'd like it."
I want to end with hope. I was really struck by the story To Write Love on Her Arms. I loved that this girl, in all of her pain, when asked "what would you say if your story had an audience?" Renee:" I would tell them to look up, to remember the stars. The stars are always there, but we loose them sometimes, in the dirt & the clouds. remember hope, we have hope."
so here are some songs that seemed to give me some hope. Some recent, some for years...
I hope you dance Lee Ann Womack
Wasted - Carrie Underwood 
Krystal Meyers - Beauty of Grace
Gungor - Beautiful things,  Please be my strength
U2 - Moment of Surrender
Leeland - Carried to the Table


Hope?
why does this seem
like such a joke
sometimes?
like it's on an island
we can barely see
and never reach
yet
when you get some
it can be such a huge thing
"game changer"
doesn't seem to cover it
nothing else seems
to either
it seems flimsy
till you have some
then suddenly
it can be a lion
ready to bite your head off
you look at things that made you wither
and laugh at them
feels stupid
and you don't care
no matter how dark the night
if you can reach the dawn
you just
might
make it
so
there is
hope
after all...
b.e. noll

Yahweh,
thank you
for not being afraid of brokenness
not being afraid of darkness
for wanting to be a part
of all of my life
the good & the bad
thank you that I can say
with Michael Been
"I ain't gonna pray for you to love me
because I know you will
I just know it"
I know you do
thanks for your ruthless love
thanks for grace
like an untamed river
washing over everything
thank you
that while I "don't have all the time in the world"
you still do
while I don't have all the answers
I still have you
while I'm no hero
you will save me
mostly from myself
thanks for being you
and loving me
B

the trumpet child
Drunkard's prayer
Kiss Your Feet - delirious?