the bitter pill

well, I'm on some med.s, as well as having my usual rhythm distorted. In some ways this is good. It allows me to try somethings. My plans for a "unique Valentine's Day" treat for Mick are going well. However my mood, & my stomach, are very erratic of late. Which inspires a "less than jolly" poem tonight...

The bitter pill

again
with these pills.
trouble,
distraction,
bad,
shallow thought garbage.
actions
that shouldn’t be
acted out,
or wrote down
for that matter.
up, down, inside out
outside in
the end of a rope
the start of a design
meandering through
preparing for some things
not ready for anything

What a bitter pill this is
not prescribed
by a doctor
this bitter thing
needs to dissolve
to go away
not to be revisited
permanently grounded
buried, really
preferably
somewhere
no one
will ever want to come out
and play near.

by b.e. noll

Rest, questions, indecition

I'm still working on "managing my digital life". Actually, as Donald Miller puts it on his blog, my "digital clutter" [and my other clutter]. I go back & forth with whether to have 1 blog & jump from poem to photos to thoughts to drawings to... So I may end up pulling everything to here. Feeling this way tonight.
So [with more than a little irony] Tomorrow my growth group will talk about the sabbath. Rest. Sometimes others have wonderful questions for us to discuss in group. Can it be my turn? -oops, that's a question already.
What is rest to you? Can be different for different people? Are there things that can never be rest -for anyone? Are you looking forward to your next chance? Are you running from rest?
For me, part of my worship & rest is hiking. Taking photos while hiking, even writing & drawing can be restful for me. Often my Sat. mornings are my sabbath. Largely for this reason. It's also why I drag my feet with publishing photos. It's kind of letting others in on my private time with The Almighty. Not that you can hear our "conversation", yet... there is a "sacredness" to the event. I think of Phil Keaggy when I think of this. His instrumental cds seem like I am allowed into his prayer closet when he has run out of words, picks up his guitar, & continues praying through the instrument.
Well, as I abruptly switch gears, I should go for now.
One of my older poems is in the current issue of inklings.
I really enjoy picking these up & reading the other stories & poems inside.

Sabbath
rest
exhale
a time
for calm
a time
for You
for us
a chance to
unplug
tune out
the frantic
"act now"
urgency
that seems
to ooze from everywhere
nerves
muscles
relax
a recalibration
a healing moment
between tasks
or battles
I always know
when
I need one
either
because I'm counting down to it
or because
I'm long overdue
thank you
for always showing up
for each
and every one

b.e. noll

Re-Imagine [a "work-in-progress"]

I'm a bit nervous to do this. This is a "weird sort of thank you" for the new art display in the Common Grounds coffee bar @ LW.
It's called "Being Made". It features unfinished "works-in-progress" by LW artists. We are God's "works-in-progress". So, to harmonize with this, here are 2 unfinished poems.
I hope some of you can bear with me, as I used 2 John Lennon songs as the impetus of the poems.
I get to hear, rather loudly for my taste, classic rock at work. Being in the middle of a rather prolific period of poem writing, "imagine" came on. And some of these "lyrics" [if you can call them that] came out of me. So unfinished, untamed, unedited [yikes]...
here is a "re-do" of Imagine, & Happy Christmas [war is over], my favorite version of this last song, is by The Alarm. [doesn't this guy ever get sick of Christmas??]

"Re-Imagined"

Lennon’s IMAGINE

Imagine there’s only
1 country
land as far as the eye can see
1 beach
to land on
at the edge
of a mighty sea
1 unchallengeable king
to serve, willingly
one who’s not
high on himself
Yet has the right
to be
nothing to kill or die for
His kid
did that all for me

Who loves you too

Imagine
all
of us living
life
together
peacefully

you may say I’m dreaming
I’m not the only one

I hope someday you’ll join us
When the world
will be ruled by one.

Imagine there’s only 1 country
land as far as the eye can see
1 beach to land on
at the edge of a mighty sea
1 unchallengeable king
to serve, willingly
imagine all of his people
living
peaceably
yoo hooh ooo ooo

I hope
you will join us
on that day
when the world
will be healed
and we’ll live [and worship] the one

[Happy Christmas {war is over}]

and so this is Christmas
last
and longest one
on a land without darkness
can’t help but be fun
the happiest Christmas
one that will never end
the one where
I get to see
my best gift
His one
and only son
face to face
to have
and to hold
to be held
to behold
the war
is finally won
war is over
been waiting impatiently
war is over
now
all colors are equal now
every
single one
don’t matter where you came form
don’t matter how you got here
only that you’ve come
all of time is over
happy Christmas
happy endless “new year”
joy
to see friends
family
long lost to me
all gathered around
healthy
wise like “old people”
energetic
like children
[what a joy it is
to know
that when Jesus said
he was “going to prepare a place for me”
he knew
how to decorate it
-home isn’t a place
home is the people closest to us
all gathered together-

And so
this is what it was all for
birth in a manger
death on a cross
buried in a tomb
that was empty
3 days after



-well... told ya it was a rough draft.
enjoy.
I'm looking forward to a small snow storm, here [1-3 inches]. If it snows, I will rejoice and be glad of it.
Thankful for the maker of snow,
B

a new post... sorta

I didn't write a poem for a while, but I have a "quick" post here.

Have a wonderful new year,
Enjoy the journey,
B

12 poems of Christmas? ["day" 12]

Jesu

thank you
for coming here
for allowing us to adore you
Jesu,
you are
the greatest gift of all
you came
so we can do more
than call you
our God
you came to deepen our
relationship
with you
with God
our father
thank you
for being
Emmanuel
God with us
thank you
for saving us
from our sin
from death
thank you
for never leaving
or forsaking
us
I can write
a thousand poems
it'll never come
half way
to telling
how wonderful
you are
who am I
that you would save this wretch?
that you would choose
to leave your throne
to leave the forever
praises that are sung
age
after endless age
to you
THAT
you deserve
not this
not a barn
not a cross
not beaten & bruised
certainly not death
I deserve
these things
not you
you
want
me
that
bad?
...joy
to the world
indeed
my heart sings
right along
with thousands
of others before me...
"hallelujah...
and you
shall reign
forever
and ever
King of kings
Lord of lords..."
Born the King of angels
Born the King of all I can see
and much I cannot see
[much less fathom]
Thank you
for the sunset tonight
all of nature
rejoices
in the beauty
of it's creator
I've said this
to humans
but
it is infinitesimally
more true
of you
It may be
your birthday, Jesus
but we
got the gift!
thank you for the gift
of yourself
thank you, Jesus...
for being you
and loving me

rejoicingly yours,
b.e. noll

"glory to God
glory to God
in the highest
...peace on Earth
for the saving
King has come
and his light is here
for all who live
in darkness..."

We have seen a great light,
a brand new dawn,
of a never ending day,
his name
is
Jesus,
joy of man's desiring
desire
fulfilled


Happy Birthday Jesu!


hope this was as fun for you who read it, as it was for me.
May you have a very Merry Christmas
and a blessed new year,
Maria's here -like, in the house, so I may not post for a few days.
may God bless you all,
goodnight

12 poems of Christmas? ["day" 11]

Sweet Holy Spirit

Thank you for leaving
unending glory
to live in my small
and often too dark
and cold heart
Thank you

that you would speak to the father
on my behalf
for helping me sense
his
[and your]
love for me
in dark times
for carrying me through
many of them
thank you for showing up
in
nightmare places
and transforming them
into
moments of
"peace
that passes
all understanding"
thank you for your willingness
to let Jesu
die
to save
a wretch
like me
thank you that in that event
you
[all
blessed 3 of you]
show
most powerfully
that love
isn't pretty
but it's
pretty necessary
with much love
and respect
you adopted child

b.e. noll

12 poems of Christmas? ["day" 10]

Dear Abba

Yahweh
thank you
for loving me, us
enough
to send
the "crown jewel of heaven"
your son
to show me
how to have
an intimate relationship
with you.
you sent
you son
to save us
to tear down
the barrier
that separates
us
from you
you paid
the ultimate price
so we can live
with you
forever
let all
that has been created
sing

b.e. noll

"...Mary's boy child
Jesus Christ
was born on Christmas day
and man will live
forever more
because of
[Easter Sunday]
...oh
my Lord
you sent
your son
to save us
oh
my Lord
your very self
you gave us
oh my Lord
that sin
would not enslave us
and
love may reign
once more.."

2 days till we celebrate...