a room in time

a "round two" if you will...

a room in time

get up early
take a drive to Rutter's
pick up the one newspaper a year
that sells out by lunchtime
2 copies please
one to leave @ home
one to take along
get back home
and settle in
eat, read The Book,
pray, stretch out,
sign the card for my blond
if I haven't done better at getting ahead
turn on Macy's annual parade
maybe write,
maybe do dishes
take down the decorations for
today's holiday
get out those Christmas records
-er, I mean "discs"
Start putting up the decorations
as a large vocal group ironically sings
"we need a little Christmas now"
think of 2 different friends
ministering to those who don't have
family
try
to get there by one.
cause that's when they'll gather 'round the table
dig into turkey, gravy, sweet potatoes, filling,
and several veggies
[cause we're all too picky to like the same ones]
afterwords
the "big" gals will sit with the black Fri. adds
planning their strategy
the "little" girls playing at our feet
we guys may saunter off to the TV
for a football game
-but not soccer-
or out the door for a quiet walk
knowing that the season for craziness
is close at hand
drive the interstate
back to our little home
my blond & me
exchange cards
loving glances
and speak of future plans
while making final decisions on Thanksgiving with
our other parents,
and looking forward to it
while this is not a "room" in a building
this is a room in time
named
Thanksgiving Day

by B.E. Noll

poem place

L.L. Barkat wonderfully gives poem ideas that can be a fun launching place for a poem.
As I haven't been reading the blogs linked here a whole lot lately, I'm a little behind on this. Here goes anyway. Oh, & to keep with the thankfulness of this week, I'm thankful for all the blog links to the right of my posts...
[this is very rambling...]

A poem of here

So
I sit here
amid the piles of papers
whishing I had taken better care of things
wishing I was “done” with them
done with projects
wires & speakers
setting on the desk
that is too big for the room
the room
that seems too small for my plans
there seems to be no room in here for me
and I should love to fix this mess
another fine mess I’m in
yet it is here that I also
amid the piles of neglect
write thanks to Yahweh
for many of the reasons
this room is messy
friends that I spend time with
a cold wife
who loves to cuddle with her warm husband
the room is chaos
& I listen to a chaotic piano
from a metal band that isn’t “usual”
which reminds me how
not “usual” I, myself, am
my printer setting inches from where I’m typing
hibernating
a borrowed Bible
a borrowed poem book
borrowed classical music
a jump drive lying,
abandoned on the desk slightly in from of the speakers
Ironic
I’m listening to music
but not on them
on headphones
yet another spaghetti cord
slithering about this chaos
yet I am laughingly calm
which doesn’t even make sense
waiting to buy a newspaper that will be
lathered with sales papers
almost resembling something I don’t even eat
-a taco
the “normal paper” being the shell
and the meaty reason I buy it
spilling out onto my floor soon
Yet I am thankful still
for the truth that
even though things are messy here
barely room amid the mess to move my chair
I am moving forward
the messy piles
remnants of
an “old self”
dying too slowly
yet dying all the same
and getting help from
the me that is being born
in it’s place
all this running through my mind
as I sit in this space

by B.E. Noll

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

on Thanksgiving

To the maker of all things

Thank you
for making sound
for turning some of it into music
for allowing us to sing & write
to you
thanks
for painting the skies
for long walks in the woods
for going with me on them
for beautiful views
for the way my woman walks
for the way she looks at me
and the way she feels
cuddled into me
thanks for the ability to walk
thanks for language
for my eyes
and much of what I get to see
for giving people
[some I know
& some I don't]
the ability to be creative
like you
thanks for light
thanks for night
thanks for food
thank you
that I can cook
[somewhat]
for saxophones
for drums
for bass
for the interesting & old
& odd instruments
that people like Kemper Crabb & Troy Donockley play
thank you for the roof over my head
& the fact it doesn't leak
thank you for those who sit with me
when my sadness leaks
out
for LW
for it's coffee bar
& all the cool folks
who have let their stuff
be displayed for me to see
for the safe haven
LW often seems to be
thanks for being
my safe fortress
for me to be me in
thanks that you are a rock
to build solidly on
& a warm comfort
to keep me
to relax me in
thanks for my family
they are more rare than precious gems
thanks for giving me nieces
to remind me of the joy
children can bring

you alone
know better than most
that I will be thanking you
for thousands of centuries
for all you have given to me
in this wisp
of breath called my life
Thank you for your grace
your unwavering, deeper than the cosmos love,
for your mercy
your faithfulness endures
truly,
there is none like you
and I'm thankful
for that too...

B. E. Noll

a song for many different occasions

I'm listening to sound samples from a unique artist I like named Kemper Crabb. As I do I am reminded of an old tune he did with a progressive band he was in called Arkangel...

Dwelling Place
Words by Kemper Crabb
music by Arkangel
From the album Warrior

His
voice
is like
The breeze
off the mountain
That cools
the desert dweller
far below
When I am
confused
And I can’t see
my way
through
Jesus speaks to me & I know
I can see the way to go
Like
the sun
rising through
the trees
after a night
Of darkness & despair
Is a joy
that comes
from keeping still before him
My Lord & God
& hearing
the word of
the Lord
from the lips of
the living God

You are my dwelling place
My hiding place from the world[sung 2x's]

From the world [sung 2x's]

I think of this song when I go out on a photography hike. When the night seems longer than it should be, & when the first rays of hope shine after a dark time. I wrote a "fall poem" that I'll post soon.

Oh, & if you'd like to hear the unique sounds I just finished sampling: Kemper's new one is called Reliquarium. [Click on the title to hear samples]

May His grace drip from your fingers,
B

Silence

Well... here I am.
I don't know if I'm really good at being a friend.
The way I am on facebook is similar to my life. I can be very fun for a while...
& then I'm silent.
I'd say I'm sorry...feels like I say that a lot.
If your really sorry though... you actually change. Then people see that change...
and you're apology is believable.
Hopefully
my apology will become visible in the near future....

some reasons are:
I'm trying to get a grip on my life [or should I say, a better grip]
trying to live more openly/real toward God & Mick
trying to not put things off so much
trying to throw out stuff that just no longer has a purpose in my life
trying to be able to find what I bother to keep [& not trip over it!]


Silence

this
I am good at
like a jazz song
I suddenly flurry online
facebook,
blogs,
posting:
thoughts,
photos,
comments
all at once I'm really friendly
and then
here it comes again
I
am
silent
"is something wrong?"
"can he @ least say so
-or not so?"
I don't
I don't say
anything
I just
"cue crickets"
and I'm silent
I share for a while
then I get frustrated
and, yes, quiet
does it mean I've given up?
does it mean
I'm being mean?
well... not necessarily
it usually doesn't mean
I'm in a mean mood
I guess
sometimes
I'm just afraid
to share
afraid it'll come back
to haunt me
it did, after all,
but that was long ago
but not long
enough ago
I guess.

by B.E. Noll

take care, blessings
B

an update

Hello all,

As my wife watches a show set in France [& I enjoy the English spoken w a French accent, & the French, which brings back memories] I'll try to update those of you not privy to my facebook page.

I didn't sleep well Thurs. or Fri. [as my previous post shows well]

The surgery went very well. They left a total of 4... "objects" in my nose.
Mick remembers things that I don't, about that day. Including me being very cold, which freaks her out. [I rarely wear a coat in a snowstorm, so this is a bit understandable] They told her it was normal when you wake up from anesthesia.
I actually went to LW on that following Sun. [I don't know why but at times like that it seems so much more worth it to go. The worship was so made for me, & I loved the visual worshipper set up these last 2 weeks. -aka "the video walls"]
Fri., I mostly watched movies. My personal collection of them. As I could not sleep I listened to Kemper Crabb - The Vigil, various Phil Keaggy solo guitar discs, Robert Fripp - Churchscapes: At the End of Time, & my collection of Iona music. I even put my Iona - Live in London DVD in for a while, & felt like my little living room became a temporary monestary/healing room. My sleep patterns began to slowly return as the days followed.
Last Wed. I went in to see my ENT Dr. He assures me that things look great. And He removed 2 of the 4 "foreign objects". I instantly felt 200% better. I could REALLY breathe!!! Better than I have in a very long time. Oct. 6th I will have the other 2 removed. I have an odd feeling since. Almost like being resurrected from some "pale form of myself". Last Fri. I went back to work. I think I'm doing well there, though I am not allowed to lift more than 14lbs. ...I had no idea just how light 14 lbs was! ugh... as some know too well, I am terrible at asking for help. Yet, things are going well. I feel like I have more energy. My stomach is slowly doing better. I am on an antibiotic, prednisone, taking acidophilus [& eating yogut -shhhh! don't tell anyone. It'll ruin my image!], & 2 allergy med.'s. Though the pain killers they gave, I only took 2 of, quite pleased there. I have had a couple of bad headaches Thurs. through Sat. They seem to be gone [& only took advil for those.] I'm glad to be so far ahead of where I was last time I had surgery. My head feels very clear.
Thanks for all the prayers. Well, I should go... lately, it seems, if I don't get off here [internet/computer] early enough I can't sleep.

May His grace drip from your fingers,
B

A Love Note to Yahweh

...I cannot sleep long, right now... so I'll read & write.
[& thank God for Phil Keaggy, Kemper Crabb, Iona, Robert Fripp, Donald Miller, & Eugene Peterson -to name a few]

Yahweh

How do I write of You?
YOU…
Are solitude
all the beauty of solitude, anyway
Yahweh
even your name is soothing
in solitude
with you
I feel a brief inkling
Of how massive you are
How immeasurably huge you must be
Yet… how, oh Great & Mighty one,
Do I describe
“all the things you are” to me?

…more like all the ways you are toward me…

You,
oh Lord,
You are a blanket…
The size of a large city

You,
Oh Lord,
Are an island I can live on
An island that would take a thousand eternities to cross

You,
Oh Holy Spirit,
Are a breeze to calm my anxious soul
Speaking to the Architect of my soul
In a secret language no one else knows

You,
Oh loving Jesu,
You are…
The Master Physician’s Rx for my soul
You have healed the rift & become a “bridge across forever”
I stand in awe
-no
I am laid low
Unable to speak, stand or move

For you, oh Jesu,
You choose to heal my wounds…
& keep your own
Jesu, you died to shout
In actions
“I love you”
“I choose you”
And then you rose
Walked into my life & said:
“do you love me, too?
do you
Choose me?”

…yes
A billion times over
Yes

B.E. Noll

...thanks to all who are praying for me...your prayers are very much felt, & appreciated! I am recovering well, no pain so far, & feeling surrounded by a temple [or tent?] of prayers which feels very wonderful...
If any of you go to any of the arts shows here this weekend, -& can easily do so- post pictures so I can vicariously go with? Thanks
B