an update

Hello all,

As my wife watches a show set in France [& I enjoy the English spoken w a French accent, & the French, which brings back memories] I'll try to update those of you not privy to my facebook page.

I didn't sleep well Thurs. or Fri. [as my previous post shows well]

The surgery went very well. They left a total of 4... "objects" in my nose.
Mick remembers things that I don't, about that day. Including me being very cold, which freaks her out. [I rarely wear a coat in a snowstorm, so this is a bit understandable] They told her it was normal when you wake up from anesthesia.
I actually went to LW on that following Sun. [I don't know why but at times like that it seems so much more worth it to go. The worship was so made for me, & I loved the visual worshipper set up these last 2 weeks. -aka "the video walls"]
Fri., I mostly watched movies. My personal collection of them. As I could not sleep I listened to Kemper Crabb - The Vigil, various Phil Keaggy solo guitar discs, Robert Fripp - Churchscapes: At the End of Time, & my collection of Iona music. I even put my Iona - Live in London DVD in for a while, & felt like my little living room became a temporary monestary/healing room. My sleep patterns began to slowly return as the days followed.
Last Wed. I went in to see my ENT Dr. He assures me that things look great. And He removed 2 of the 4 "foreign objects". I instantly felt 200% better. I could REALLY breathe!!! Better than I have in a very long time. Oct. 6th I will have the other 2 removed. I have an odd feeling since. Almost like being resurrected from some "pale form of myself". Last Fri. I went back to work. I think I'm doing well there, though I am not allowed to lift more than 14lbs. ...I had no idea just how light 14 lbs was! ugh... as some know too well, I am terrible at asking for help. Yet, things are going well. I feel like I have more energy. My stomach is slowly doing better. I am on an antibiotic, prednisone, taking acidophilus [& eating yogut -shhhh! don't tell anyone. It'll ruin my image!], & 2 allergy med.'s. Though the pain killers they gave, I only took 2 of, quite pleased there. I have had a couple of bad headaches Thurs. through Sat. They seem to be gone [& only took advil for those.] I'm glad to be so far ahead of where I was last time I had surgery. My head feels very clear.
Thanks for all the prayers. Well, I should go... lately, it seems, if I don't get off here [internet/computer] early enough I can't sleep.

May His grace drip from your fingers,
B

A Love Note to Yahweh

...I cannot sleep long, right now... so I'll read & write.
[& thank God for Phil Keaggy, Kemper Crabb, Iona, Robert Fripp, Donald Miller, & Eugene Peterson -to name a few]

Yahweh

How do I write of You?
YOU…
Are solitude
all the beauty of solitude, anyway
Yahweh
even your name is soothing
in solitude
with you
I feel a brief inkling
Of how massive you are
How immeasurably huge you must be
Yet… how, oh Great & Mighty one,
Do I describe
“all the things you are” to me?

…more like all the ways you are toward me…

You,
oh Lord,
You are a blanket…
The size of a large city

You,
Oh Lord,
Are an island I can live on
An island that would take a thousand eternities to cross

You,
Oh Holy Spirit,
Are a breeze to calm my anxious soul
Speaking to the Architect of my soul
In a secret language no one else knows

You,
Oh loving Jesu,
You are…
The Master Physician’s Rx for my soul
You have healed the rift & become a “bridge across forever”
I stand in awe
-no
I am laid low
Unable to speak, stand or move

For you, oh Jesu,
You choose to heal my wounds…
& keep your own
Jesu, you died to shout
In actions
“I love you”
“I choose you”
And then you rose
Walked into my life & said:
“do you love me, too?
do you
Choose me?”

…yes
A billion times over
Yes

B.E. Noll

...thanks to all who are praying for me...your prayers are very much felt, & appreciated! I am recovering well, no pain so far, & feeling surrounded by a temple [or tent?] of prayers which feels very wonderful...
If any of you go to any of the arts shows here this weekend, -& can easily do so- post pictures so I can vicariously go with? Thanks
B

probably the last till after surgery...

Well, this week is NUTS! today, got my head x-ray. Tomorrow a meeting, Wed. another game [Revolution]. Thurs. prep for surgery on Fri. All I know about Fri. is 2 things, I will have surgery, my nose will be stuffed up, & I'll probably sleep a lot. [ok, 3 things]

so... I'm a little nervous doing this, but this is my facebook photo:
Brian Noll
I'm not sure when & where I'll post, but I'll probably start there. I'll be surprised if I say anything before Sat. I'll try to friend any who ask...
also you can leave comments here.

Music is often my friend, my blanket, a pile of fallen leaves to hide in...

Walk on
[...& love
is not
the easy thing
the only baggage
you can bring
is all that you can't
leave behind...]

Stuck in a moment you can't get out of
[...& if
your
way should
falter
along this
stony path
it's just a moment
this time
will pass...]

Have a great week, & holiday weekend.
B

for L.L. [Solace pt. 1]

The Solace of Nature [the organic temple of Yahweh]

it never takes long
to get caught up in You
this impromptu
stroll
into Your
organic living room
the curtains
made of trees
fallen leaves,
roots,
rocks,
dirt
the carpet & tile floors
of our hangout room
whether I'm aching
flaking,
breaking,
or escaping
I can come to your place
& spend some time
time out of time
I count down the days
till I can be with you
among the trees,
rocks,
and your whispering breezes.
I don't always need You to speak
I just always need to feel
You with me
by choice
don't know why You choose me
but I'm oh so glad
that you do
Thank You for special
moments
moments of awe
moments of swept away-ness
swept away by Your presence
...& all the while You unfold a new moving art display
in the sky
the tent
of Your Organic Temple

briefly...

I have been thinking of doing this for a while now. So I just "up & did it". My health, thoughts, & other variations will now be on the blog "organic by design". I have updated my surgery dates on there, as they have changed.

[untitled]

I haven't posted a poem for a while... & I'm contemplating some things...

a puzzle, an awakening

It was hard
to awaken the real me
when the ghosts had been running a muck for years
slowly
I became aware
of all that lie beneath
fractals
shards
I felt like
broken glass
like I was grafting
“frankenstiening”
things about a crowd of people
I thought I met once
I kept thinking
I liked
the pieces
would I
could I
like them assembled?
could they
would they
end up
as me?
then
who, exactly
would I be?
Am I making me?
or…
am I
awakening
to the me
I was born to be?

by
B.E. Noll

I know I said...

I know I said I was taking a break. I still won’t be “regularly blogging” for a while [Aug. – Nov.]
I hate to leave things the way I did for too long. My blog doesn’t need to be negative, you can find that elsewhere. Though, if I may say so, it’s not always fun being different from everyone else. –or, at least feeling different. It’s nice to have a few people who can stand you –as is. Anyone can look good for a picture. But life is much more of a hiking trail, than a photo shoot. [perhaps more on this later]

2 things…
#1. I am having sinus surgery again. To finish fixing my septum. It would fall under “minimally invasive surgery”. As they will probably not need to make an incision. [i.e. cut me] They will go –ah, this may be the “queasy part” so if that’s “not you thing” skip to #2. I have people who like the details… this…is for you. They will go up my nasal opening to fix my deviated septum. They did this last time. They need to fix a part up closer to the bridge of my nose this time. The part they fixed previously is doing wonderfully. So the hope of my ENT & myself is this will be the last one. [ever? -!!!] I am not “showing symptoms”. [which were: dizziness, extreme headaches, generally lousy] This is good news. However, if I don’t get the surgery now…I’ll just have to get it done later. So let’s put procrastination off till tomorrow, shall we? Thus, Sept. 10^th [a Fri. –the one after Labor Day] I will have this done. It will cause me to miss some days of work as I am not allowed to lift anything over 10 lbs. Rendering me basically useless @ work. So Mick & I are adjusting the vacation plans we had for next week, & I’m pondering how early in the week I’ll go to the cabin [@ the end of this month]. Should be out about 7 days [I think it was 2 weeks last time out.] sigh.

#2. Onto cheerier stuff. Mick & I were invited to a wonderful wedding last Fri. [Thanks Lauren & Jed, & congrats!] Loved the ceremony, & what the Pastor [& father of the groom] spoke about. The symbolism used. And was reminded of the last song sung before my own wedding began. Since my surgery will be around the same time I thought I’d put this up early. Love the song, still mean every word…

Thigpen's Wedding
by Kemper Crabb

Here I set
my face unto you
Here I speak
my heart's true vow
Here I choose
to walk beside you
Loving only you,
my heart speaks true
Forevermore from now.

I will love you in the dawning
And in the bright noonday
I will love you in the even
Everyday I live,
my heart I'll give
I'll love you from my grave.

I have heard God
in your laughter
I have seen Him
on your face
And it's clear now what He's after
For He wrote
your name
on my heart
in flame
It's a wound I'll not erase.

We will rise
on wings of morning
We will fly
before the wind
We will dwell within the mysteries
And the glories of
Jehovah's love
A circle with no end.

We will pitch our tents toward Zion
In the shadow of His love.
We will covenant between us
We will covenant
with the earth below
And with heaven
up above
We will covenant
with the dust below
And the Spirit
up above.

May his grace drip from your fingers,
B